Monday, September 17, 2012

The Great Debate

Well, after years of attempting to rear our child as a “person” and not a gender role, I’m afraid our efforts have fallen by the wayside with school in the picture. I suppose we should have gone to live in the woods and home-schooled her, perhaps kept her in a dungeon until her eighteenth birthday; but too late now.

First, we came across the Halloween section at the grocery store, and though Roz wanted to be something scary this year, her eyes couldn’t help going towards those flippin’ frilly fairy costumes.

“What about this pirate costume?” asked Mom, trying her damndest to sway the kid’s decision. “This is pretty cool.”

“Nope. Too pirate-y.”

“This mummy costume looks scary. What about this?” Mom clutched the cheap white fabric and made her best “buy me” face.

“No. Too white.”

“This knight costume?”

“Too knight-y. Oooh, pretty,” said Roz, spotting a pink nightmare of a fairy costume. 

“Oh disgusting,” said Mom. “I mean, it’s not very scary is it?”

Meanwhile, Dad, who was keeping a safe distance between the shopping cart and the costumes some two aisles away, chimed in, “It’ll be way too cold for that. You’re not wearing that.”

“And it’s not scary. You wanted scary, right?” added Mom. Although, the fairy costumes did in fact look quite scary to her.

“I guess so,” agreed Roz. “But what can I pick? I need to have something!” Roz was beginning to get desperate. And October was still two weeks away.

“You have a perfectly good parrot costume,” said Dad. “That’ll keep you warm and it’s much better quality than all this cheap crap.” Forever the voice of reason.

“But I don’t want to be the parrot! Parrot’s aren’t scary!” cried Roz.

“Well, we’re not buying anything right now.” Dad had spoken.

“Maybe we can make you a costume,” offered Mom, contemplating the possibilities of duct tape.

“Today?” asked Roz.

“No, not today.”

Somehow Mom managed to drag Roz from the Halloween section and out of the grocery store.

Next stop: Canadian Tire. Mom and Roz waited in the car for Dad while he ran in to get Motor Oil; they would only have slowed him down. And so, the great Halloween debate continued inside the orange-red Yaris.

“Maybe I can cover your face in green makeup and make you into a scary monster.”

Roz pulled a face. “Green is a boy colour.”

“No it’s not. Green is a monster colour.”

“No, green is a boy colour. I hate boys.”

“You don’t hate boys. And green isn’t a boy colour, Roz. Anybody can wear green.”

“But boys don’t like pink. Arie says he hates pink. Boys hate pink. Girls love pink.”

“Some boys like pink, Roz. The kids at school are just listening to all those horrible brainwashing commercials that tell you what you should wear and what you should like. You don’t need a commercial to tell you what to like. Girls and boys can like anything they want to.”

Roz pulled another face. “Yeah... and?”

Mom bashed her head repeatedly against the glove compartment.



But... when they got home, Mom pulled out the parrot costume and pointed out that the claws and wings were like a dragon’s, and that it was a rather scary parrot. Dad suggested that Roz put a little pirate on the parrot’s shoulder; which is quite genius. Though Roz didn’t quite grasp the irony of this, she did draw a pirate on cardboard for Mom to cut out.

The great Halloween debate continues...


31 comments:

  1. She can run around screeching "I am the parrot of death......beware." Maybe she could wear a frilly pink tutu over it? Now THAT would be scary.

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    1. Parrot of death... LOLOLOLOL! I actually might suggest that to her, just to see her reaction.

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  2. How about a pink ghost? Scary but feminine.....

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    1. Actually, I had a bed sheet in white I could die pink. That would be quite funny! Getting some good ideas here. ;)

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  3. The idea of the pirate on her shoulder totally cracked me up. Not sure the other kids will "get it", though. Store-bought costumes are usually pretty crummy, but I'm sure you'll come up with something cool and innovative on your own. She'd make an adorable butterfly. Or a banana... a rotten banana! (That's kinda scary...)

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    1. Little advanced for four? ;) Darn it. Times like this I wish I could sew. Actually, even if I could, I'd still hate it. A rotten banana... LOL!

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  4. At least you still get some say. I have a feeling we will be the girlie froo froo version of the Mad Hater this year. That is an interesting costume. At least its not a fairy.

    What about a horse? She could be a pink horse and those costumes are furry and full bodied and warm! Sidney was a unicorn once in blue. She was: "So hot, I'm gonna die!" in it. Which is great with our Octobers.
    ctny

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    1. Ultimately, I think she's determined to look scary, so I don't think a unicorn will cut it. Though she'd probably love a unicorn for every day wear! Those warm ones cost a bomb though, eh. Not sure we're up for that.

      Mad Hatter... cool!

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  5. LOL! I'm going through something similar at my house. My four-year-old wants to be some action hero, and I really don't want him pretending to kill people while he's at the Halloween carnival, so I'm trying to persuade him into being Yoda. He'd be so cute with the little green hat on!

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    1. I love Yoda! I never thought of that for boys... there I am always encouraging Roz to be a super hero. Huh! Funny they are both four, too. :)

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  6. Ah, school peer-pressure vs. self direction --kicks in early. Poor kid's in a muddle of conflicting guidelines. Pink fairy dress sounds good --with a Frankenstein mask maybe-- an option denied Karloff in the absence of color film. Turned out fine, this will too.

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    1. Who knew it started this young. Bit of both then, you say. That works. So, you're saying I should embrace colour? ;)

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  7. An evil fairy wears black, not pink, Rozsweetiepie. I'm with her on the parrot, BTW. Nobody wants to be a parrot. Though Weds. the 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day!!!

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    1. Parrots are just not cool, eh. But, but... darn it. I shall try and remember to get our pirate voices ready.

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  8. Obviously, Roz hasn't had the pleasure of visiting Oz with our galah cockatoos. They are the embodiment of "scary pink parrots". Their screech alone is enough to make you wince in agony, and as for that beak of theirs, I'm still nursing a maimed finger with nerve damage from 2001!!!

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    1. LOL! And OUCH! I am seeing a b-rated horror movie for this, Revenge of the Scary Pink Parrots. I had no idea there was such an evil villanous creature posing under the pretense of being pink!

      BTW: I tried to leave you a comment on your blog, but had to give up after at least ten times and not being able to beat the evil robot thing! I hope you see this so you know I tried! Ack!

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    2. Aaaaww! :( Sorry darl! I put it back on because I was getting so much crappy spam. I'll take it down again... Just fer ya! ;)

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  9. I hate Hallowe'en, I do. It's the dressing up dilemmas that hurt my head. I was never able to decide what to wear and now I'm useless that helping my kids decide what to wear. Bah.... only good thing about this holiday is the candy.
    Tell her to do what I always did - dress up like a tramp. No, not THAT kind of tramp. Gee whiz.

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    1. The novelty of holiday events soon wears off, that's for sure. Everything's gotten to be too much expectation, and too much money. I wore a garbage bag one year as a kid! A tramp... the second kind works. Hell, I look like that every day. ;)

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  10. I told my three girls to be the stuff, not the fluff, but after spending thousands of dollars on gymnastic lessons and running around to all sorts of sporting events, one of my girls told me that she really wanted to be a cheerleader. Broke my heart it did, broke my heart.

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    1. *sigh* So I guess it doesn't matter what I try, they will do what they want to do. Yeah, that will be a hard pill to swallow if she tells me she wants to be a cheerleader one day. Oh man. I like your saying though, 'be the stuff, not the fluff'.

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  11. Oh my oh my. Somewhat luckily, of course, such Halloween debates do not occur much over here in England.
    Not having kids knocking on the door trick or treating is really good for me. Yes, every year I buy treats for the kids that don't knock on my door and gosh, end up eating the treats myself! :)
    Anyway, where was I? Pirates and parrots go hand in hand. Or is that hand in talon? Take care, I'm outta' here, eh.
    Your starstruck fan, Gary :)

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    1. I hear Halloween is gaining popularity in England... beware, Gary... beware!

      I wish the kids wouldn't show up so I could eat the candy! We live in kid central and it's absolutely batty Halloween night!

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  12. Aaaaargh. I so understand your terror at the pink froth and frill. While we don't celebrate Halloween for some time now I have been seeing small girls out with their parents with pink (and it is always pink) tutus and fairy wings. Often worn over tracky dacs. And my great niece is a ballerina because she loves the clothes...

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    1. Maybe I need to force her to wear dresses, and impose pink and girliness on her. ;) That seemed to work for me. Certain years, all the little girls seem to be dressed as fairies... it's like a horror movie out there!

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  13. It is a battle I don't think you can win. Take her shopping for a new look for her bedroom. If she wanders down the girl aisle, the hippy aisle, or the spongebob aisle, you will have some sort of answer.

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    1. Are there stores like that?! That sounds fun.

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  14. "... the possibilities of duct tape..." Ha! I hear duct tape comes in pink, too.
    But seriously, two word: zombie fairy.

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    1. Yes, duct tape comes in patterns and all sorts now! It's very cool. And... add zombie to anything and you've got a winner, really. Great idea! :D

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  15. Raise them any way you like, in the end boys will be boys with the urge to take things apart and make everything bigger, better, faster and girls will be girls with the fairies and the pink and the sparkly.

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