First, we came across the Halloween section at the grocery store, and though Roz wanted to be something scary this year, her eyes couldn’t help going towards those flippin’ frilly fairy costumes.
“What about this pirate costume?” asked Mom, trying her damndest to sway the kid’s decision. “This is pretty cool.”
“Nope. Too pirate-y.”
“This mummy costume looks scary. What about this?” Mom clutched the cheap white fabric and made her best “buy me” face.
“No. Too white.”
“This knight costume?”
“Too knight-y. Oooh, pretty,” said Roz, spotting a pink nightmare of a fairy costume.
“Oh disgusting,” said Mom. “I mean, it’s not very scary is it?”
Meanwhile, Dad, who was keeping a safe distance between the shopping cart and the costumes some two aisles away, chimed in, “It’ll be way too cold for that. You’re not wearing that.”
“And it’s not scary. You wanted scary, right?” added Mom. Although, the fairy costumes did in fact look quite scary to her.
“I guess so,” agreed Roz. “But what can I pick? I need to have something!” Roz was beginning to get desperate. And October was still two weeks away.
“You have a perfectly good parrot costume,” said Dad. “That’ll keep you warm and it’s much better quality than all this cheap crap.” Forever the voice of reason.
“But I don’t want to be the parrot! Parrot’s aren’t scary!” cried Roz.
“Well, we’re not buying anything right now.” Dad had spoken.
“Maybe we can make you a costume,” offered Mom, contemplating the possibilities of duct tape.
“Today?” asked Roz.
“No, not today.”
Somehow Mom managed to drag Roz from the Halloween section and out of the grocery store.
Next stop: Canadian Tire. Mom and Roz waited in the car for Dad while he ran in to get Motor Oil; they would only have slowed him down. And so, the great Halloween debate continued inside the orange-red Yaris.
“Maybe I can cover your face in green makeup and make you into a scary monster.”
Roz pulled a face. “Green is a boy colour.”
“No it’s not. Green is a monster colour.”
“No, green is a boy colour. I hate boys.”
“You don’t hate boys. And green isn’t a boy colour, Roz. Anybody can wear green.”
“But boys don’t like pink. Arie says he hates pink. Boys hate pink. Girls love pink.”
“Some boys like pink, Roz. The kids at school are just listening to all those horrible brainwashing commercials that tell you what you should wear and what you should like. You don’t need a commercial to tell you what to like. Girls and boys can like anything they want to.”
Roz pulled another face. “Yeah... and?”
Mom bashed her head repeatedly against the glove compartment.
But... when they got home, Mom pulled out the parrot costume and pointed out that the claws and wings were like a dragon’s, and that it was a rather scary parrot. Dad suggested that Roz put a little pirate on the parrot’s shoulder; which is quite genius. Though Roz didn’t quite grasp the irony of this, she did draw a pirate on cardboard for Mom to cut out.
The great Halloween debate continues...