Monday, September 10, 2012

Bananas Gone Bad

The talker is asleep; I must write quickly before she wakes...

Last year when Rosaline started school, we were initiated into the whole ‘nut-free zone’ thing; and it’s a little bit of a pain, but you do get used to it. It helps that all the grocery stores have gotten up-to-speed with products and clearly-marked packaging. Nuts are now at the forefront of my mind—I’m just glad we didn’t do this in the 80’s ‘cause, basically, my entire diet as a kid consisted of some form of peanut-butter sandwich (plain, jelly, or banana).

Then, this year, Rozzy came home with another newsletter (incidentally, printed on yellow paper!) informing me of a banana allergy in school, and asking us all to do our part in creating a banana-free environment. There goes the remaining part of my 80’s diet—I would surely have starved to death back then! 


Which makes me wonder, where were all these kids with allergies back in the 80’s? Did they somehow manage to survive among us in secret, or were they all killed off? Or maybe they went to special nut-free schools on the outskirts of society? Very strange.

Which also makes me wonder: what would happen in the future if certain allergies forged in reproduction—say if Mr. No Nuts married Miss. Go Banana—would some sort of mutant food allergy child emerge?

I was shocked when I did supply work at a daycare to learn of all the allergies kids seem to have these days. One boy was allergic to three different fruits, though he could at least be in the same room as a grape or a tomato.

What all this means now, though, (for the rest of us, I mean) is lots more rules to follow. It can’t be easy being a care-provider/teacher these days. These are the rules Rosaline will now be subjected to in school:

  • - Wash hands in morning before entering classroom to remove possible traces of banana from hands;
  • - Eat snacks and lunch in the classroom under direct supervision;
  • - Refrain from having food in the school yard;
  • -   Do not share food, utensils, or containers.

Did I accidentally sign her up for military school?

My advice, is that people only marry and reproduce with others who suffer from exactly the same food allergy. So, Mr. No Nuts could marry Miss. No Nuts, Mr. Go Banana could marry Miss. Go Banana, and so on. Or find a partner with no food allergies, and that would be okay, too. But I really think we’d better get a handle on this before it’s too late—before there are no safe foods left to eat on Earth!

36 comments:

  1. Before long we will all be eating grass like cows...yikes. Hey, are you going to enter the Halloween contest/give-a-way on my blog?

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    1. Mooooo! Hmmm, I should seriously think about your Halloween contest, Lawless. I must have some Halloween memories tucked away inside that brain of mine somewhere. :)

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  2. Although I have survived the nut-free crazies, this frankly, annoys the holy poop out of me. If a child is that deathly allergic to something....why are they not secured in plastic bubble somewhere. We have to make 500+ kids be nut free or banana free (really?) for the sake of one child. We are now latex free this year as well. No jump ropes, not balls of any type on the playground. No balloons. No belts that could possible have latex in them. No tights for little girls unless they have been latex free approved by the office admin. All this for one child. Maybe that makes me selfish. All children should be allowed to go to school. Yes, yes and yes. But the food laws and police are starting to tick me off.

    You know, I am very allergic to bees. I think they should make a bee free world for me. What? You mean this is a problem? Why? Just use ladybugs instead for the world pollination. We dont need the bees. And besides it is all about me...right?

    Poor bananas...

    ctny

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    1. I can't help wondering how these poor people ever leave their homes at all. How is it possible for them? Every single door handle, every stranger, potential danger.

      No jump ropes or balls? I wonder if that's because latex is toxic? Or is this yet another allergy I haven't heard of!

      I think if Roz had an allergy that bad, I would consider home schooling. Or move to an island. If I could afford to... I dunno.

      That's it... no more honey anywhere!

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    2. I've just had a thought, perhaps these allergic children could eat their lunch isolated in a separate classroom or office, until lunch is over and all hands have been washed. That seems more fair for the rest of the population in the school.

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  3. I guess today's kids are denied the adventure of lunchtime "food-swaps" at school, too. What a shame. Anybody knows that the food coming out of someone else's brown bag always tastes better than what comes out of your own.

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    1. We even used to share chewing gum! Wow, we were gross. Yeah, no more swapping lunches. Roz is stuck with what I give her. Poor thing. ;)

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  4. Great mad banana faces. I look like that around plane trees in May, but yellower. Seriously tho, eliminating foods in response to new allergies can take us only so far, otherwise grammar school lunch will consist of some distillate, like vodka, and maybe a quick cigarette.

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    1. My husband will enjoy taking those bananas to work this week. Wait 'til he sees them...

      Actually, that sounds like a school I might like to attend. :D

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  5. Wow! There is a child in my son's school deathly allergic to peanuts. He has his own bathroom and everyone who has had peanuts in the last twenty-four hours has to stay away from him. Poor kid!

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    1. You're kidding? That's awful. Talk about giving a kid a complex. I hope they can invent some kind of vaccination. That's... well, nuts!

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  6. All those school rules are nuts, it's enough to drive anyone bananas!
    Ya know, I've often asked myself those same questions... Are we heading towards a future of mutant X people that won't be able to even breathe the air around us!?

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    1. Could they have picked a funnier two foods to be allergic to? Ah, it's not just me then... X-Men, step aside!

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  7. HAR!!!! Hilarious, as usual. This whole allergy thing just drives me NUTS!!!
    And BANANAS!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    (Adore the faces on your nanners.)
    -Cathy from Muskoka

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    1. Hahahahahhahahaaha! I well should have used those lines. Doh! :D Attractive, aren't they?
      Oooh, your new icon/blog looks good! I was just trying to join but blogger wouldn't let me. But I'll be back, Cathy from Muskoka.

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    2. That's my WORK blog... I was goofing off today... shhhhhhhh....

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  8. No shared food was in place for me anyway. There is absolutely nothing you could swap for a liverwurst sandwitch. My father really liked liverwurst (shudders here at the memory) and once my mother got going everyone got the same sandwich filling. Sigh.
    I wonder whether there are more allegies about because of the insistence on disinfecting everything. We led a relatively germ laden existance. Tops and counters were washed down - but were not disinfected. And so on.

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    1. Goodness my spelling went south in that comment. Please mentally correct for me...

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    2. EC, I didn't even notice any spelling errors! I think I was too in shock over the liverwurst sandwiches. Ewww! :) That's a good theory, actually... hmmm. I'd love to know why.

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    3. I never disinfected anything, not even baby bottles and teats, everything got a good hot water wash and my babies were and are all fine. Never ever sick apart from school caught measles, chicken pox, and mumps. With one year when they all had tonsillitis.

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  9. This made me both laugh and shake my head -- and then count my lucky stars that The Boy has no food allergies!

    Pearl

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    1. So so glad Roz doesn't have a food allergy, or else I'd have to eat my shorts!

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  10. WTH? Are we going to have to build special allergy schools? Nobody had these problems when I was in school. So why now? That's what we should really be looking at. Meanwhile I can't wait til B opens his lunch and gets greeted by a banana with a face.

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    1. I almost wish they would build special allergy schools. I don't mean to be mean, but it is a little nuts/bananas. Definitely we need to look at why this is happening in the first place. Hah, yes!

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  11. I thought this might be a problem when I enrolled my granddaughters this fall, almost thirty years since I last was involved with school. Not one word from either school. Maybe the awful winters stop the allergens. Enough joking, I'm just glad I don't have this to deal with, too.

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    1. That would be a bonus for suffering horrible winters! You lucked out, Joanne. Scrambling to get lunches together is tricky enough, aye. Plus everything else you have to remember!

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  12. With what we are told about today, I am amazed that any of my children were able to make it to adulthood. My kids were exposed to all kinds of food, rode bikes without helmets and went out to play without me hovering around them.

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    1. I know! I don't know how I made it, either. I never saw my parents unless I had to eat. ;)

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  13. I ask the same question: where were these allergies when I was growing up?? We ate everything, lived in the middle of corn fields, surrounded by farm animals, got stung regularly, and yet we weren't allergic. It is definitely a problem now.

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    1. My husband actually told me that there was a boy in his school who had a nut allergy. One day he had a reaction, went home, got a jab, and came back. The End. It seems like we're blowing it out of proportion to me. Though I'm no expert...

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  14. Aha! Great idea you suggest. Mr. Lemon would marry Miss Lemon. Hopefully, it wouldn't be a bitter relationship.
    And I shudder to think of myself as "Mr. No Nuts"! :)
    Take care, eh. I'm outta' here.....

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    1. Bitter sweet, Gary. Bitter sweet. :D

      My dog is actually a Mr. No Nuts, come to think of it. ;)

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  15. I taught at two different schools in the early 70's; neither school had any children who were allergic to anything. Where on earth did all this come from. I blame E numbers!

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    1. You could be right. We have introduced a lot of chemicals to our bodies with mass food production. Huh.

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  16. This is so true, but I have no answers. I my kids' school it is peanuts and latex balloons. I'm fine with it, but like you I wonder where did all this come from? Is it in the baby food, formula, all our foods? It'd be nice to know.

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  17. I've never heard of a banana allergy before, that's a new one. I'm astonished too at the number of allergic children around these days. I can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with the restrictive diets some pregnant women follow because certain foods have been known to put unborn babies at risk? They avoid cheeses and shellfish and other stuff, probably unnecessarily. There's always the generations of pesticides, chemicals (additives) and genetic modifying of natural foods too, that has to have an effect someway down the line.
    When I was at school in the 60s allergies were almost unheard of. There was one boy(only one in the whole school)who had to get goat milk from a nearby farmer because cows milk made him seriously ill.

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